Thursday, January 10, 2008

2008 on Smallotry.com

Whew! The 2007-2008 blogger awards season is finally over, and I can get back to actually blogging again. For those of you who don't have an "in" on the whole month-long gala event, here were some highlights:

  • Smallotry.com won the award for Best Overall Feeling
  • I personally won an award for being neither anorexic nor too fat (there are a lot of awards at these things)
  • I met the editors of Gawker—an 8 year old boy and his bored father
  • Google made me an offer I couldn't refuse (a gmail subscription)
  • Two different people approached me about guest-editing their blogs about clubbing.  No thanks, weirdos!
  • Noah Baumbach and his wife, Jennifer Jason Leigh, were there, looking great.
At one point, during HuffingtonPost week, Alec Baldwin and I were smoking cigars on the balcony and he said to me,  "You're the Smallotry.com guy, right?  I loved your book, and I absolutely love your frickin' blog, but it seems like you're stretching yourself a little thin.  You're trying to blog for everyone.  Know your audience kid.  For instance, when I did the remake of "The Getaway" with my then-wife Kim Basinger, we had a sex scene and y'know, people knew that it was possible we were really having sex on set, because we were man and wife.  You see what I'm saying?  Know your audience."  Then he started punching me all over, as a joke at first, but then they were real punches and I had to run inside as he tore at my shirt.

I did know what he was saying.  In the old year I was too worried about getting the word out there about my book, and the book tour, and frankly, it worked.  I have now sold more copies than they even printed of The Da Vinci Code, and I am still penniless.  But thank you America and other nations, for giving me a chance.  In the new year, I will focus on using this blog for what it is intended to be used for: documenting the day-to-day degradations I experience and witness as a person of short stature.  And you, readers, readers who number like the stars, you are welcome to contribute your own tales of shame and abasement.

Sincerely,
Smallotry.com

7 comments:

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