Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Oh Brother

The fat cats at Yahoo are really grilling me about keeping up with the blog. This is the conversation I had with them earlier today on a conference call:

Tony: Z-man, how's it hanging?
Me: Oh Jesus, what do you you guys want?
Chad: Nothin' brothuh, just checkin' in with our new guy on the scene.
Me: That's great. (cough) Oh geez, sorry guys, I'm too sick to talk.
Tony: Z, that's no problem, get back to us when you feel better. We don't want nothing to happen to you, our biggest investment thus far!
Me: I'm... losing... my... voice...can't...talk...
Chad: You take care, Zachary.
Tony: Take care of yourself, big guy.
Me: Call...the...police...
Chad: What?
Me: Nothing. Bye.

So anyways, they e-mailed me later and said they wanted me to do a movie review, so here you go, you fascists.

THE NEW WORLD, by TERRENCE MALICK
First of all, Jonathan Pryce, why are you in this movie? You're like an extra. You don't have any lines. Did they even pay you? How does something like that happen? Second of all, John Rolfe, here is a bit of advice: stop taking your wives on trips back and forth from England and all over the globe. That is how they are dying.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Yahoooooo-ooh!

So, you probably read about this in the papers, but the reason I haven't been posting lately is because I was busy working out the details of a huge, huge merger with Yahoo.   Let's just say, I don't need to worry about a large portion of my rent for next month.

What this means for you, readers: everything is going to be about Yahoo from now on.  With the exception of the sidebar which shows you google news stories or whatever, which I do not know how to remove.

Here is an example post, from the new and improved Smallotry.com:

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, folks, but a lot has been going on in the Yahoo.com universe, of which I am no small part.  First of all, my friends at Yahoo.com put together this great review of TV shows from this past week.  I was also busy learning about why online college is hot, and Magic Johnson is going to be running for mayor of Sacramento (a city I have been in)—all on the Yahoo.com homepage!  Yahoo.com is definitely not short on information!