Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A Long Overdue Apology to My Readers

This has been the longest absence from blogging in a while, and it pains me to have to come back here and hang my head in shame before all of you nice people. This is especially hard when there have been so many exciting new developments in the world of smallotry.com, for instance, our very own Duffbert has reviewed The Short Book on his blog and on amazon.com. Also, the results of the caption contest on mentalfloss.com were announced. So, you see, you're missing out on a lot, and it's pretty much my fault. Here are my excuses:

1. A friend of mine told me about this thing called google analytics, which is a function on google that lets you see how many people are looking at your blog and where they are from etc. According to google analytics, there are zero visitors to this blog, from zero locations. I know that can't be right, because I visit this site. So there should at least be one visitor. Me. But it's possible I pasted the code in the wrong place, so it's not working correctly. In any event, this blog is my heart and soul, my pride and joy, and it was a little disconcerting that not even I was visiting it.

2. I have been lifting a lot of weights recently.

3. I am also working on something of a tan.

4. Online boggle on facebook/watching American Idol.

5. I sort of hate this blog.

6. Recently, a lot of friends and acquaintances, some of whom I haven't seen in years, have been offering me a lot of unpaid working opportunities. Several people have offered to allow me to draw cartoons for free for projects they are working on, and some other people have offered to have me write unpaid humor pieces and in one case even a whole unpaid movie script, on an unspecified topic, of unspecified length. All of these incredible opportunities have led me to question if blogging is my true calling. It's actually sort of maudlin around here, what with all the self-doubt.

7. When I sit at my desk I usually, unconsciously, rest my left foot really hard against my right foot (I cross them) and so my feet have been hurting and it makes me not want to sit at my desk, which is why I'm writing this in bed, which, let's be frank, is not a good habit to start.

3 comments:

christopher said...

Don't give up, Zach. I once typed in bed and managed not to fall asleep for like 45 minutes. It can be done!

Here's some food for thought: I was watching a show (that I recommend) called "The Millionaire Matchmaker," and one wealthy bachelor had a hard time finding social-climbing ladies because they thought he was "too short." He was 5' 8". Are millionaires supposed to be taller than normal people? What gives?

(This is Chris.)

Tom said...

I have to apologize, I had no idea you were so besieged by people looking to bite off a mouthful of Zach-Pie when I propositioned you.

You must feel a little like Britney when she sings "I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17 / Don’t matter if I step on the scene / Or sneak away to the Philippines / They still gon put pictures of my derrière in the magazine / You want a piece of me?"

I do want a piece of you Zach. But not if means you're going to get all pregnant and crazy. Good luck with the... maudlinity.?

Anonymous said...

Precision Mold 水餃拉麵泡菜美食食品批發團購美食養生涼麵麵條麵條製作香港自由行 澳門自由行法律事務所 律師律師事務所離婚搬家公司Electronic PCB Flex PCBHeavy Copper PCBIndustrial PCBMedical PCB Microwave PCBPCB RF PCBRigid-Flex PCBseo統一發票3 4月統一發票7 8月統一發票1 2月統一發票9 10月統一發票9 10月統一發票5 6月seo水晶燈流行燈飾原裝進口燈飾照明洗包包加盟 洗鞋子洗鞋加盟洗鞋店創業 鞋之澡堂消防公司消防設備消防設備崴立機電機電環保袋環保袋環保袋環保袋地板施工超耐磨地板