Duffbert, Look at This

Folks, Duffbert,

Here is some important publicity for the short book.  I am the guy with the green hat in the background.  The guy mysteriously stroking the cat is state senator Duane Reade.  You have to click on the video link that you can find by following this link.

best,

Smallotry.com

More Mainstream News!

One thing a lot of people like is the Daily Show, with its charismatic host and hilarious youtube.com clips.  But did you know that Jon Stewart is short?  Here are some things he said last night about his being short in relation to Conan O'Brien in an old photo:

"There is some controversy here, and that is to whether I am an adult sized male."

"We're the same size, that's a perspective shot."

"Conan's arm is 20 feet long."

"There's no reason to taunt me on the way into the building."

"John Edwards turns out to be the Cindy Brady of South Carolina."

"For months Giuliani was the frontrunner for the Republican nomination... and then people started voting."

The lesson here is that when your writers are on strike you have to resort to killing time by making jokes about being short.  That makes me feel bad about what I do.

But here is something that makes me feel good about what I do—an excerpt from my presidential heights page on Digg.com via mentalfloss.com.  Thanks mentalfloss.com!  There is also a caption contest that I drew there, so check it out.  

Okay, I'm late for a press conference!  (It's about how my landlords evicted a guy and sent his four cats to the pound.)  See you on local TV!

Here Goes Nothing

Do any of you like this woman, Amy Winehouse?  I've heard she is all the rage.  Thoughts?

Big Changes at Smallotry.com

I guess because we won all sorts of internet awards there is a lot of new interest in smallotry.com.  I won't say who, but one major corporation even made an offer to buy us out.  Of course I said no, but it was a tempting proposal.  You don't know what you'll agree to after your third or fourth chicken kiev.

And the links!  Suddenly newyorker.com is linking to us, which is a lot of pressure, because people have a certain expectation of quality from the New Yorker, which we don't share here at smallotry.com.  We let if flow, for better or for worse.  Remember the "History of Violence" liveblogging.  I didn't realize that when you liveblog, you're supposed to post each thought as it happens, not just write them all down and post them at the end.

But there's more!  This week over at mentalfloss.com there is a whole bunch of stuff about The Short Book.  You can see today's interview: here.

Now what does this mean for the average smallotry.com reader?  It means there are going to be a lot more of you pretty soon, and that means that things need to get a lot more mainstream.  In the real world, people don't want to read links to articles, and they don't care what other people think about movies.  People who live in the real world care about one thing: mainstream things.  And smallotry.com is bowing to the pressure.  

Will there be more sex and gossip here?  If that is mainstream.  Will there be more photo funnies?  If I can figure out how to upload them.  Will there be content about smallotry and other shortness related bigotry?  As long as the majority of people find that information to be conventional.

Let's do this, together.

Important Article

I haven't read this article yet, but apparently short people are prone to get arthritis, y'all.

Very Very Important

This is exactly the kind of thing I've been talking about here on smallotry.com.  Basically, if you follow that first link (I finally figured out how to put links in the text) you will see an article about these robbers who use dwarfs hidden in hockey bags to rob passengers on buses.  If you follow the second link, you will be taken to groogle.com, which is nothing.  

This brings up an important point, which is that dwarfs have hidden in tote bags since time immemorial in the hopes of robbing people.  For instance, Runi Tober was an Italian robber in the 19th century who did the same thing.  No big deal.  Read all about it in my book: 100,000 Rhyming Things To Remember To Say To People Before I Go To Sleep Tonight.

Ryan Seacrest

A lot of folks are making a big deal about how short Ryan Seacrest is.  Well, a few years ago I was watching Ryan Seacrest on the David Letterman show, and I started to freak out because it seemed like he was really evil and insecure.  Now I just think he's pretty insecure, but he appears to have grown into himself, as it were, and that makes me feel a little bit better about him.  In fact, I no longer think he is evil at all.  The movie American Dreamz has Hugh Grant playing a really evil sort of version of Ryan Seacrest.  Do not see that movie.  Unrelated.  The movie is terrible.

In any event, I'm glad that Ryan Seacrest is short.  It humanizes him, and it humanizes all the American Idol contestants because you can tell how tall they are in relation to him.  As a matter of fact, I now think they are all too humanized, and it makes me a little sad.