What if one of the newsreel things at the side of this blog was about this blog? It would read something like this:
Smallotry.com Drops Da Bomb!
Short people of the world rejoice! There is finally a blog for you! Everyone is talking about this amazing new thing: blogs! And what if there was one that talked about the stuff you needed? Like movie reviews! Artist and perennial wit Zachary Kanin brings his own brand of sardonic genius to the medium of the internet, and it is like a marriage of heaven and hell... with one HECK of a baby: comedy!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
The Worst Thing
The only thing worse than TiVoing "A Night at the Roxbury" is watching "A Night at the Roxbury" and discovering you have already seen "A Night at the Roxbury." And then watching "A Night at the Roxbury" anyways. Twice. Two days in a row.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Movie Review: Invincible
Here is the official tagline for the movie: "If you've ever thought that Mark Wahlberg didn't have really strong, sculpted arms, be prepared... to believe."
B-, not as good as Gridiron Gang. I figured out who the love interest was almost immediately.
B-, not as good as Gridiron Gang. I figured out who the love interest was almost immediately.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Movie Review: Gridiron Gang
So, last post I told you about a bunch of stuff I need to write about. Good point. But I saw most of Gridiron Gang starring Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and Xzibit this evening, and that is what matters most now.
First of all, the movie is about two-and-a-half hours long. I came in at about the 45 minute mark and I was honestly shocked that there were over 100 minutes left in the movie. I thought it was the end of the movie, but it wasn't. And I am glad it wasn't.
When I saw previews for this movie, I thought it was ridiculous. The Rock is and always will be a comedian, so how could he handle a dramatic role? Also, the premise of the movie is that a bunch of kids in a juvenile detention facility defy the odds and are great at football. Well, duh. These kids are deemed so violent and dangerous to society that they are locked up behind walls and gates with guards all around them. Just so they won't hurt anybody. If they are not locked up, they will just hurt people and kill people. I wonder if they will be good at a game where your only goal is to hit people so hard they get concussions and die.
Or so I thought. In fact, these kids come from troubled backgrounds and are wrapped up in gangs and even the Rock has a few troubling skeletons in his closet. Long story short, I was close to tears for an hour-and-a-half. It might have been because there was a slow, tremulous trumpet playing with my heartstrings for the entire movie, or it may have been because this old, jaded cynic isn't made entirely...of stone.
First of all, the movie is about two-and-a-half hours long. I came in at about the 45 minute mark and I was honestly shocked that there were over 100 minutes left in the movie. I thought it was the end of the movie, but it wasn't. And I am glad it wasn't.
When I saw previews for this movie, I thought it was ridiculous. The Rock is and always will be a comedian, so how could he handle a dramatic role? Also, the premise of the movie is that a bunch of kids in a juvenile detention facility defy the odds and are great at football. Well, duh. These kids are deemed so violent and dangerous to society that they are locked up behind walls and gates with guards all around them. Just so they won't hurt anybody. If they are not locked up, they will just hurt people and kill people. I wonder if they will be good at a game where your only goal is to hit people so hard they get concussions and die.
Or so I thought. In fact, these kids come from troubled backgrounds and are wrapped up in gangs and even the Rock has a few troubling skeletons in his closet. Long story short, I was close to tears for an hour-and-a-half. It might have been because there was a slow, tremulous trumpet playing with my heartstrings for the entire movie, or it may have been because this old, jaded cynic isn't made entirely...of stone.
Catch Up Time
Sorry folks, there is a lot of stuff to catch up on here, since it has been about a week since I last posted. I didn't mean to leave all of my loyal readers stranded, and believe you me, I have learned my lesson! You guys don't give a guy a break! And all these book orders I now have to process—it's like insanity around here.
Anyway, a lot has happened. We had a book party, we got a ringing endorsement from www.shortsupport.org (look in their library, the book is there), we got another endorsement from www.cartoonbank.com (look on my page, the link is in the sidebar of this blog) and I grew six inches. Also, we started a charity.
So, that last paragraph is basically a summary of what would have been posted on this blog in the last week if I had been posting, but I hadn't been, so now it's a preview of what's to come this week. Consider it a calendar of upcoming events on smallotry.com.
And consider it well, because it is your last warning.
Anyway, a lot has happened. We had a book party, we got a ringing endorsement from www.shortsupport.org (look in their library, the book is there), we got another endorsement from www.cartoonbank.com (look on my page, the link is in the sidebar of this blog) and I grew six inches. Also, we started a charity.
So, that last paragraph is basically a summary of what would have been posted on this blog in the last week if I had been posting, but I hadn't been, so now it's a preview of what's to come this week. Consider it a calendar of upcoming events on smallotry.com.
And consider it well, because it is your last warning.
Friday, November 2, 2007
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